Humiliated
When Carla and I were about 22, we worked at Starfire Day Camp in Tijeras Canyon outside of Albuquerque. It was a blast. We were both counselors and she was responsible for the music teepee. We also got to be ‘horse’ counselors. This meant that when another counselor’s kids were riding horses, we took that counselor’s spot at the horse ranch while said counselor stayed at Starfire and took a break. It was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done; riding a horse around the mountains of New Mexico.
Fast forward one year.
I decided to work for the University of New Mexico Conferences Services and Carla went back to Starfire. One day, Carla told me that they needed help for a day and that I would get to ride horses again. Needless to say, I jumped at the chance. I was out of practice, so I only helped one kid get onto her horse. I got onto my horse and the next thing I know the owner of the stables was yelling/screaming at me, asking if I was the one who helped this particular girl get on her horse. I said that I was and he told me to get off of his horse and to never set foot on his property again. All this with twenty people I didn’t really know looking on.
I was so stunned that I was speechless. I had no choice but to comply, so I left. Turns out that all summer someone from Starfire had been forgetting to tighten the cinches on the horses’ saddles and kids were falling off. When he saw that the girl I helped had a loose saddle, he thought he found his culprit. He didn’t realize that I was not working for Starfire any more and hadn’t been there all summer. Although he acknowledged that I was not the one he was looking for, he said that he still didn’t want me to come back. I don’t remember what I said after hearing that, but I’m sure it was something Jesus would have said…
I was humiliated. Even as I’m writing this, I can feel the burn that washed over me while he was yelling at me. This event is one of those things that I’ve tried to let go of and have mostly succeeded, honest. And of course, there are other times I have been humiliated that caused much more pain than this one. In the scope of life, this one event wasn’t much. I’ll live.
The past months, I’ve had some experiences that I would call humiliating. They were made all the worse because they happened in full view of people that I knew and respected. In addition to that, I had to go into these situations knowing that they might get ugly. I did a lot of “Please take this cup from me (#14)” prayers, but it was very clear to me that He wasn’t going to. So, with the full confidence that God wanted me to be in these situations, I went, kept my mouth shut, and did the best I could to have a good attitude.
I’d love to say that because I was ready, it really wasn’t that bad. However, if anything, it was worse than I expected. I would also love to say that I had a good attitude the whole time. I didn’t. But I know that God’s hand was in it and that he was with me.
Hebrew 12:3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you do not grow weary and lose heart.
Thanks for your honesty! When you see Garner ask him about his latest “facing the music” episode!
Sorry you got embarrassed, but you were in the wrong. You should have checked the saddle, blanket ect. before you put anyone on the horse. I’m not sure how I came across your blog? I hope you have got off your butt and got employment by now. I have to admit I have never read or heard someone complain about life in general as you do…and you do it on the web for all to see. Looser…