The Day I

This is going to be different. I’m going to write about something that really happened, but, in the interest of protecting all involved, I’m changing the names and some dates – nothing else.

I’m trying to figure out what to write about the last five
days. These events have been like no other that I have ever experienced.

It all started with Jennifer’s phone call on Monday night,
2/13.

The girls and I came home from BSF around 8:45. Ashley said to me,
silently, ‘I have bad news.’ I think she might have said/finger-spelled
‘Jennifer,’ but I’m not really sure.

We went into our room as quickly as we could and she told me
that Jennifer had called her and told her that Mike and Lauren were pregnant and
had an abortion planned for Friday, 2/17, at 6:00 am.

I sat in shock. How does one react to something like this?
What does one say?

I asked if anyone else knew, she said no. Jennifer had called
her, very upset and didn’t seem to know what to do. It was obvious that this
was a tremendous weight on Jennifer.

As quickly as we could, we prayed for wisdom and guidance
from God and asked him for a sign. We had both been studying the story of Isaac
and Rebekah where the servant sent to find Isaac a wife asked God for a very
specific sign and got it. We did not ask for anything in particular, just for
something.

It was apparent to me that God was telling me to go to CA, (it
was apparent to both of us that I should go.), it was just a matter of when. I
started looking for fares and Ashley and I began to discuss when would be the
best time. That week was Billie’s birthday, birthday party, and both girls were
cheering at a TCU men’s bball game. In addition, Ashley was still not feeling
well and would probably require help at some random time during the week. We
decided that I probably shouldn’t go on Tuesday, but still didn’t know when.

We decided that, unless we got a very specific, unavoidably
precise sign, we would wait until we had talked with Jennifer. We did not want to
betray her trust with Mike and were not sure of her reaction to our request to fly to L.A. How could anyone be sure of any reaction
in this situation?

I slept about four hours that night. I had a meeting at 6 am
with someone and all I could think of what Mike, Lauren, and the baby. Every
time I woke up, I prayed in what seems like agony for the life of the child. I
started to beg God to spare the child’s life. Then, at some point, I began to
beg God to grant me the child’s life. I don’t know if people will understand
this, but it is what I felt very strongly that I should pray. I also began to
ask God for Mike’s
life and Lauren’s life. It was obvious that the baby’s life was not the only
one that would be affected by this decision and this situation. I went to my
meeting and got the first of many small, but significant confirmations that God
would send my way throughout the day. To the person I was meeting with, it was
a complete no-brainer that I should go to CA.

I took the girls to a Valentine’s Day party in the morn and
went shopping for Billie’s bike. This was, if anything, a welcome escape from
the reality facing me. I went back to the party to pick up the girls and spent
about twenty minutes talking with the four moms who were there. I told them the
situation and got more confirmation that I was planning the right thing…but
still didn’t know when. The five of us spent a few minutes in prayer about the
problem and it was truly uplifting to hear them pray for the baby, Mike, Lauren,
and me. It was obvious that their hearts were broken with the story I told.
After we prayed, they all committed to me to help Ashley during the week while I
was gone. This was a welcome assurance that Ashley and the girls would be taken
care of while I was gone.

I left there and took the girls home. I tried to work, but
didn’t get much done – so many other, more important things were on my mind. I
had called Jennifer a few times and sent her a couple of emails, requesting her to
contact me, but had heard nothing. I wanted to act, but hadn’t heard anything
from God that Ashley and I would have called a clear, definitive sign. I wanted
to act anyway, but Ashley wisely pointed out that, since we had asked for a
sign, we should wait for one. What a radical idea.

I had decided the night before that it would be a good idea
for me to fast. It was interesting how I arrived at this conclusion. I figured
this was very, very important. I was reminded of when David’s baby from
Bathsheba was born. He fasted and prayed for a week as he begged God for the
child’s life. I figured I could do the same thing. So, I committed not to eat
anything until God had clearly directed the action Ashley and I were to take. I
used the hunger pangs to remind me to pray for Mike, Lauren, Jennifer, and the baby.

Through a strange sequence of events, I found out I had a
meeting with my mission’s pastor in his office – I thought we would meet over
the phone. Rather than try to do the meeting over the phone anyway, I decided
to take the opportunity to meet with him and spend time discussing our
situation. I went to meet him at 3:30 and immediately began to tell him
everything that was happening. We had some great conversation, but the best
part was time we spent in prayer. We prayed together for about fifteen minutes,
going to God in agony over the horror and hopelessness of the situation. At the
end of our meeting, I left with the peace that God had heard us…but still
didn’t have any answer as to when I should go.

I had a meeting with the recreation pastor and took dinner
to the girls around 5:45. The, I came home and waited.

At about 7:30, Jennifer called. I talked with her for a few
minutes, trying to just listen to her. (Side note: it’s very hard for me to
listen/talk to someone without some sort of agenda. I’m always thinking about
what to say next, how I could say something really profound, whatever. As a
result, I rarely listen.) As I listened to her, I could hear her pain. It was
like she knew she should be strong, but really had no idea what to do. When I
felt like it was a good time, I asked her if I could have her permission to go
to California and speak to Mike and Lauren. As I started to talk, I started to
cry, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. She started to cry also, and told me
that I didn’t need her permission and that I could go.

I immediately started to book a flight and got one out the
next morning at 7:00 am.

Ashley and I prayed and thanked God for his mercy and
guidance, I packed, broke my fast and went to bed.

Again, I didn’t sleep much, but constantly woke up and
prayed for the child, Mike and Lauren.

I got up and made the plane and had three hours to myself.
It was an awesome plane ride. I usually read the whole trip, relishing the fact
that I can’t hear a darn thing because of my ears (I have ‘chronic eustacheon
tube dysfunction’ and it is very difficult to clear my ears). This time, I did
my Bible Study Fellowship lesson. It was from Genesis and I don’t remember
exactly what it was about.

more to follow