See the first half of this entry;
You Always Disagree with Me!
In the movie, ‘The Matrix,’ Morpheus talks about our Residual Self-Image (RSI); the image we have of ourselves. I’ve never had any real trouble with my RSI. I know that I’m funny, not too overweight, pretty good-looking, a wonderful conversationalist, a nice guy, a great father and husband, and a Super-Christian (better than your average Christian). If you don’t think this things are true, try and convince me otherwise! I dare you.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
The problem with a dare is that someone might actually take you up on it.
One day, in Matamoros (that’s three), I asked God to show me the condition of my heart. Alas, God’s vision of my heart and my RSI did not match. They weren’t even close. He said that my heart was dark and full of anger and envy. As calmly as I could, I said, “WHAT?? I’m not angry. Who do I get mad at? How can you say that my heart is dark? What or whom do I envy?”
When you ask, you get answers.
From that time on, God has been showing me that I’m not nearly as thin/funny/good-looking as I think I am. I am self-centered in my conversation. When I do seek others’ good, it is really for my own good. I’m an angry, arbitrary father and a self-seeking husband. I’m also an inconsistent, hypocritical Christian who has sullied the name of Jesus with my actions and motives. (See “
A Real Man,” a blog entry I wrote some years ago. I offer it to you with very little irony intended.)
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 (read the whole chapter for more insight into David’s RSI)
I’m sure this isn’t you. You’ve probably made it to this point in your life with your self-esteem intact, shored up by your RSI and what people around you have led you to believe. The list of mission trips you have been on and service projects you’ve done is probably long enough to prove that you aren’t like me. Your life experiences have been such that you have an appropriate, God-centered worldview. Or, just for the heck of it, you could ask God what he thinks.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Post Script –
Lyrics to BarlowGirl – Superstar
– Yes, I’m 42 and male, but I LOVE this band – and not just because they write stuff I want my girls to hear – they rock! In my house, it’s called ‘Daddy music.’
