You know how when the preacher or Sunday School teacher is talking about sex, he always feels obligated to talk about how good it is before he talks about how bad it is? I’ve noticed that we do this a lot in our Christian bubble. So, I’ve started compiling a handy list that we can all refer to by numbers in the future. I’m sorry, I don’t see how I can write about this without having some fun. Having said that, I’ll be doing my best to write in full Markie style.
If you would like to contribute, please email me and suggest a caveat. If it’s funny/perplexing/true, I’ll post it.
- God created sex, he meant it to be good. Mankind has messed it up. God is OK with it as long as you’re married to the person you’re having sex with. Otherwise, sex is bad.
- You shouldn’t go play on a freeway and expect God to save you. Unless He tells you too…
- Of course music can be worship, but worship isn’t always music.
- When on a mission trip, you’re allowed only one expectation; God will use you if you let him.
- God made alcohol/wine/beer, but you still shouldn’t drink it, even though Jesus did; people might talk. Jesus, Peter, Paul, and Mary needed it because the water was bad – you don’t unless you live in Wylie, TX. Or Mexico.
- Talking/Hanging out with non-Christians = Bad. Witnessing with your life = Good. How exactly this works, I’m not sure. I know about “In the world and not of the world” but I’m still confused as to why people would be watching how you live if they don’t even know who you are.
- You should turn the other cheek. Unless you shouldn’t.
- You should help the poor, unless he’s a bum on the street asking for money. Ouch.
- You should not judge people. Unless they’re doing something wrong AND they’re Christians, then you can judge away. Gossip is also OK in this circumstance. At least, I think that’s how it works.
- Is that movie rated R because of violence? No problem. Sex? Big problem. (OK, that wasn’t a caveat, just a pet peeve.) Why is violence OK, but sex isn’t. Arguably, God created sex, but not violence. Please see #1 before responding.
- Secular music is bad, unless it’s played by an orchestra.
- Of course, I’m not talking about YOU.
- I understand that some people will feel a reflexive need to
respond to some of the above points. Just remember, as I heard a pastor
say many years ago, “If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one
that gets hit is the one that’s going to yell.” - What I’m going through is nothing like what Jesus went through. Are we good?
- Yes, Jesus was in complete control and submitted to everything that was done to him.
- More to follow.
Have a nice day.
Why do we drive on a parkway and drive on a parkway? Why do they call the apartments when they are connected? If a rooster was on a roof facing north what side of the roof would the egg roll down?
Nearly every one of these are legalistic examples…. I default to Paul in 1 Cor. 6:12 “All things are lawful for me” — but not everything is beneficial. “All things are lawful for me” — but I will not be controlled by anything.
let’s not be so legalistic….