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Why do we spend so much time avoiding pain? Jesus didn’t avoid pain; it seems that he actually sought out people who were hurting. God doesn’t avoid pain (see Adam, Ruth, Esther, Hannah, David, Abraham, Sarah, Mary, and just about every other person in the Bible). When you’re in pain, he’s there, with you. He’s not hiding somewhere else or avoiding you so that he doesn’t have to hurt with you. He’s there, sharing the hurt.


Here’s the picture I have of God when I’m in pain (physical or otherwise); He sits with me. He doesn’t judge or tell me “you should have…” He doesn’t try to make me learn from the situation – that’s what the pain is for! He sits and waits. When I ask questions about the pain, sometimes he answers and gently waits for me to learn, but sometimes he doesn’t say anything.


So, why do I always run away from or ignore other people’s pain? Why do I avoid putting myself in situations where I might experience other people’s hurt?


This is why I don’t go to the poor. I don’t want to see their pain. This is why I don’t go to an AIDS ward. I don’t want to see their pain. This is why I stay in my church, in my house, in my bubble; I don’t want to see the pain of the people around me and then be forced, by my humanity, to react. To cry, to hurt for them, to maybe actually DO something crazy like help them. I don’t want to do this because it HURTS!! and I don’t like pain.


So, I leave my cross on the ground and walk around like I don’t have a cross and neither does anyone else. We’re all OK.


God, please break my heart. Please don’t let me be like this anymore.