In church a few Sundays ago, the speaker used the term 'an anonymous life.' I can't get it out of my head.

The best way I can think of to illustrate the term is through a short video clip called "I am Constance." If you choose to watch the video (which I recommend), I should warn you that, while it is safe for work (SFW), it is still disturbing. Click here to view.

Bottom line: the video shows a young woman in a hotel room while a man prepares to take pictures of her. At the same time, a husband and father is sitting at his dining room table, looking at pornography - of the same girl. The video does a good job of connecting the two events and showing that the girl in the pictures may look willing, but she is, in fact, abused, afraid, and controlled.

There is no connection between these two people. He is completely alone and safe, in nowise affected by the person he is looking at and thinking about; so he thinks. The everyman at the table? He is anonymous. She will never know his name, what he looks like, or anything about him. He is using her as he would a computer, a TV, or a car, with no thought as to her humanity and individuality. When he's done looking at her, he will turn off his computer and she will be gone...

Wow, that got deep really fast.

So what? I don't do this in my everyday life, do I? Let's have a look...When I go to Kroger's, do I know anyone's name there? Do I only use them for what I need and then, when I'm finished, turn them off? Do I give any thought to the humanity or individuality of the librarian that I deal with? Do I know anything about the guy who changes my oil? Is he doing this willingly? Is he having a really bad day? What country is he from? I know he's from Africa, but I never bothered to ask where, exactly, he's from.

Does this mean that I should have a long, protracted conversation with everyone I meet and get involved in the deep, personal details of their lives? Of course not. I think it's a matter of being willing to be open and vulnerable to people that I meet. To see them as humans, just like me, and not as objects or means to an end.